The Music of Life

Flipping the Mic: My Guest Appearance on Side Quest Success Stories

• Caryn • Season 1 • Episode 18

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In this episode of The Music of Life, I’m flipping the script! Instead of hosting, I had the incredible opportunity to be a guest on Side Quest Success Stories with host Stephen Duetzmann. I share why I started this podcast, my personal journey through a toxic divorce, and the intense spiritual healing that followed. I share how this podcast became a platform for healing—not just for me, but for others navigating similar experiences. Stephen and I also talk about the power of storytelling through podcasting, the importance of community, and what’s next for The Music of Life as I move beyond my divorce and into a new chapter of growth and transformation.

 

Episode Highlights:

[01:03] – How I met Stephen Duetzmann at Podfest 2025 and what led to this guest appearance.
 [01:24] – The story behind The Music of Life and why I felt called to start this podcast.
[03:57] – The power of podcasting in building connections and helping others feel less alone.
[05:36] – Moving beyond my divorce: What’s next for the podcast and upcoming topics.
[10:04] – A shoutout to my producer Marc Ronick and how his support shaped this journey.
[14:47] – The original concept of The Music of Life: Music’s influence on love & relationships.
[16:29] – My long-term vision: A book, retreats, coaching, and building a strong community.
[23:36] – How I’m growing my audience through podcasting, social media, and email lists.
[25:06] – Reaching international listeners & the universal language of music and healing.

 

Links & Resources:

 Be sure to follow, share, and leave a comment if this show resonates with you! Send me a message at podpage.com/themusicoflife to share your experiences, or to leave a comment. I'd love to feature it in a future episode.

Caryn Portnoy:

Hi everyone, and welcome to the music of Life. I'm your host. Karen Portnoy, before I get into this episode, please comment, ask questions, share some of your experiences, and don't forget to subscribe. So this format is going to be a little bit different. Today. I was fortunate enough to be interviewed for a podcast called side quest success stories, hosted by Steven dudesman, somebody that I met in Orlando, Florida in January of 25 for the pod fest convention. Thank you for tuning in.

Unknown:

You. Hello

Stephen Duetzmann:

everyone, and welcome to another episode of the side quest success stories podcast. My name is Steven duetsman, and I am your host, and I am joined today by a very special guest who I met in Florida just a few weeks ago. Karen Portnoy, how are you? I'm

Caryn Portnoy:

great. Thank you. How are you? I'm great. So we're here

Stephen Duetzmann:

because I met you at pod fest 2025, down in Orlando, and you are running a new podcast that is very cool in that it is talking about a really important subject. I wanted to give you an opportunity to spread the word. So why don't you tell me what your podcast is, why you started it?

Caryn Portnoy:

Okay, so my thank you. By the way, the name of my podcast is called the music of life. It's it's been out since early November of 2024 I'm very proud of it. I It's about my my three year very toxic, very hostile divorce while living together. And you know, it was, it was the hardest time of my life, even though I initiated the divorce, and I talk about in each episode, different ways that I was abused, and how I overcame that. I embarked on a two and a half year intense spiritual healing journey at the same time that I was abused, which is not very common and not very easy, but you know now that the divorce is final, and I've moved out of the house, and I'm living separately on my own for the last eight months, I'm now happy and at peace and thriving. So the impetus for doing this podcast, I really felt called to tell my story, and it wasn't to throw my ex under the bus in any way that wasn't the purpose for it, sure, the fact that I end up exposing him for what had happened throughout the divorce and beyond is secondary. The primary reason for doing this is to help others. I wanted to help and inspire people. And anybody who's going through this, you know, has to know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I never saw a light at the end of the tunnel through my ordeal. And anytime anyone said to me that it will end one day, and even when my lawyer said we're in the final stages, I didn't believe anybody until we were sitting at the table signing our agreement. But at the same time, you know, I'm I'm in several divorce groups on social media, I'm reaching over 300,000 people with my comments and posts. And so I read and I hear what people are talking about in their situations, and I feel like I can be that life raft for people that I didn't have for myself. So that's really what my passion is and what my purpose is in doing this.

Stephen Duetzmann:

Sure, I would imagine that there's a lot of people in those groups that just need to hear the story so they know they're not alone, and the podcasting platform is so great for that purpose, right? Because they can hear your voice, they know your stories, and they know you're a real person. It's easy to dismiss words sometimes when they're on a page or on a screen. But you know, the intimacy of a podcast can kind of break through some of that. And I'm sure you know there are people in your audience who just need to hear that their story is not singular, that they're not by themselves going through something that's never happened before. So exactly kind of sharing that tragedy and kind of helping them through that, it's certainly valuable. And when I heard you were doing that, I knew right away, when I started this podcast that I wanted to have you on so you So you started this in November. So here we are. We're only a handful of months in, and you already seeing, by all measure, great success. It sounds like great fulfillment, too, because a lot of folks are hearing it. I'm sure everybody has heard it. Has seen value in the stories that you're sharing. And I know you had said that you've kind of talked this topic a lot, and so you kind of have, like, a body of work where you've kind of covered it from as many angles as you can think of right now. And I know that you've, you know, connected with all these people, but you kind of want to talk about life, beyond which, I think is also an important part of the process, right? So, you know, what other topics are you thinking about, covering and talking about? And you know, are you ever going to circle back? You know, somebody asks you questions. Are you going to leave the, you know, divorce topic behind? Let me know what, what do you think for content moving forward.

Caryn Portnoy:

So it's interesting. My producer initially said, you know, oh, you'll probably do about four or five episodes on the divorce, and then you'll move into your healing journey and like, we're just kind of mapping out the plan forward. And I just finished recording episode 13, and I said I still have more in me. And he's like, Well, keep going. The the what's interesting is, you know, it was important to me to tell my story like in detail and in completion, because I wanted to establish credibility for my audience, to understand that I've been where they are. I'm not just spewing, just to spew like I've really been I see them, I know what they're dealing with. And so, you know, there was emotional, psychological, mental abuse, there was financial and legal abuse. There was sexual abuse, but not in the sense of assault. It was more withholding, like withholding sex and love and affection and and all to control and dominate me. So that's a thing too. And, and I, you know, I go into great detail on all of these different ways to be abused. In a divorce, I recorded the 13th episode, and at the end, I really just put my mic down and said, You know what? I'm sick of talking about my divorce. I'm done. So I think this is the crux where I just kind of wrap it up and say, Okay, it's time to move forward. My life has moved forward. So I don't want to keep dwelling in the past and and ruminating over, you know what happened and all of that, and I don't want to be stuck in negativity. So I always felt that I had this innate drive to just keep moving forward and to be positive. And I was I was very clear for myself. I was not going to let him crush my spirit. I was not going to let him close my heart, and I was not going to let him break me. Those were my three main things, sure, and that's, that's what drove me, Did I answer your question? You absolutely did,

Stephen Duetzmann:

yeah, and that's okay. We're podcasting. If I didn't want long answers to questions, this would be a very bad format. So, and honestly, I don't think that was long. I think it was, it was really good. Big props to your producer. Someone who was less flexible would have said, okay, you know, why don't you move on and not giving you the opportunity to produce, what amounts to what? Seven more pieces of content? Yeah, nine more pieces of content. He was thinking, four, and now you're at 13, so nine more pieces of content. He could have discouraged that, and instead, clearly, you've gotten value out of it, right? And also, we know this podcast is part of your healing journey, but there is zero chance, especially considering all the different things that you've talked about over those 13 episodes, that someone didn't find value in each of those episodes, and also good for you seeing the plan and realizing that everybody's got a plan until you got to change it. For some reason, you had more to say. And I think having 13 episodes kind of wrapping this issue up from a content perspective, and it's really easy to repackage and repurpose and reuse as stuff that you could share moving forward, because a year from now, you'll be still making this podcast and talking about whatever else you need, and it'll always be a part of it, right? People will always say, I remember you when this is what you talked about. And people who ask you'll be able to point them back to Hey, look at this playlist of episodes that I have that cover everything. So

Caryn Portnoy:

I just want to say really quick, of course, I had been working with my producer for three years now. I had an original topic three years ago, and due to my divorce, I decided to put it on the back burner. Sure. So my producer and I have been working together for three years, even though my my current podcast just came out recently. So I just he's been my biggest cheerleader all along. I'm so grateful for everything, and I tell him this all the time, and he was a podcast with me and all that stuff. So goodness, it's Marc Ronick from ironic media. And it's R O N, R O N, i, c k.

Stephen Duetzmann:

I will certainly put links to him in the show notes. If you like great, great. We love supporting good content strategists and producers here on my show. I wish I had known he was there. I would have wanted to shake his hand, but maybe next year at pod fest. Yeah, I

Caryn Portnoy:

will make a point. Takes care of the two of us. I could send you if you wanted to put it up, but not necessary if you don't. The

Stephen Duetzmann:

fact that you have such a great relationship with your producer is it's awesome. There are a lot of folks that kind of go this alone. And you know, being a creator without someone to bounce ideas off of is it's a it's a lonely road. And so the fact that you have been working with him for this long and made it through a pretty significant content change, and are still working together, and it's still positive. Is a testament to the amount of trust that exists between the two of you. It's funny. I just had a podcast episode that I recorded yesterday that was all about trust between creators and their customers. So it's interesting that we see a little through line here. It's almost like trust is important in business, and creativity probably everything, now that I think about it. So do you want to talk about what your original future topic is? Because I'd love to hear what the original idea was before you kind of transformed it.

Caryn Portnoy:

So first, let me go back and answer a previous question you were asking about. You know if, if content comes later on, if people come back and circle back to me and ask questions or whatever, I actually have a feature on my website, which is podpage.com/the music of life. There's a feature there where people can leave a voicemail for me. I promise, you know, I on the header of the website. I promise on anonymity. So you know, if people want to just share their story and not say their name, or I would never mention their name, but it is additional content that I can use, you know, their stories and whatever, and then speak about that. So I welcome that with open arms. I think it's it's a great way to just corroborate that people are going through similar things. So that's one thing, and then, so the next part of my podcast for now will be transitioning from post divorce and what I've been up to for the last eight months, and how I've transitioned, and all of that, and then I get into my entire spiritual healing journey, which will be off the charts. I'm sure many people will enjoy that. And so I'm, I'm very excited about that. You know, my plan originally was the first section will be about my divorce, second section will be about my healing, and then the third section would be about my original idea, which was music's influence on sex, love and relationships. Okay? You know, look, we all have stories about our past, good, bad or indifferent. Music narrates all of our lives and and so I, I curated specific songs to go with specific stories and encounters and experiences. So, you know, I just the feedback that I got alone three years ago was just amazing, because everybody remembers where they were, when they had their first kiss, or when they had their first major breakup, or and and the songs that were associated to that. So, you know. And one of my friends said to me, you know, you better hurry up and launch this before somebody else steals your idea. And I said, You know what? I'm not worried about that because they're not me, and they're not going to bring to it what I bring to it, so they can do their version of it if they want. But I do believe that I have a unique way of putting this all together. And even still, in my current section. I mean, the the name of this podcast is the music of life, and while I had it planned on including specific songs within the episodes, Spotify changed their rules, and you're not allowed to do that anymore. So I've been building playlists to attach to each episode right now, so I'm almost done building that. And, you know, it's, it's very personal. It's very, you know, the songs that inspired the content, the content that inspired the songs. So I'm going to have 1010, songs per episode attached to my show notes, so people can listen to the episode and then listen to the music that inspired it. So I'm really happy about that.

Stephen Duetzmann:

I really like that idea. I almost think having the playlist is kind of better than embedding it in the episode. Having that playlist to kind of go through separately, you're kind of creating two pieces of content out of. An episode. I love it cool. That's a really good idea.

Caryn Portnoy:

I think that, you know, look, I can argue both sides of it, but having the music within the episode, I liked it because it broke up the monotony of my voice, but at the same time, it interrupts the flow of the episode. So I agree. I think attaching the playlist is way better. And I also consider where my audience is when they're listening. Are they in their car? They walking their dog? Are they in a nail salon, like you just don't know. So I think they can listen at their leisure, and it's great at the end of

Stephen Duetzmann:

the day, rules is rules, right? So you gotta, we got to live with what we have. And I think that's a great idea. Exactly. What do they say limitations can fuel great art? And I think that is a very creative workaround, and one that I think will will pay off. Everybody remembers their first kiss. Everybody remembers breakups. I remember music that I listened to in the car driving home from bad experiences. So I absolutely identify with that, and I'm sure everyone else will. Let's talk about goals. This is a pretty big undertaking. Has obviously been a through line for you for a few years now, so the fact that you've stuck with it for three years, even through all the major life changes you were going through. That tells me that this is something you're really committed to. What's the hope out of this? What are you hoping to turn this into? You

Caryn Portnoy:

know, it's interesting because I remember Marc saying that at the beginning of the year, out of the 25,000 new podcasters by February, 30% of them quit. And I thought that that was crazy. And I even I'm like, That's nuts. And he laughed, and he said, You know, that's so not you don't even worry. You know, I have a very clear vision forward in terms of what my goals and hopes and dreams are. I always said that this podcast was going to be just the tip of the iceberg, and I plan on going in any any direction that makes sense for me. But you know, it started out as a book. I had eight chapters written by the time I had met Marc, and we talked about turning the book into a podcast. And he said it happens all the time. Books turn into podcasts. Podcasts turn into books. It's interchangeable. So when I met Maria podfest, I expected that, you know, episode one will be chapter one, and episode two will be chapter two. And she said, No, that's not how it works. And so, you know, we were talking about how to turn my podcast into a book, and she said, you know, we pull from a few different episodes to make a chapter, and then whatever holes need to be filled in, that's where you come in. And I love that idea. I love that it's not going to be the exact replica of my podcast, that there's still room for creativity and expression and authenticity. And that's, that's where I come from. So I'm excited about that. We talked about different levels of, you know, like whether I want to start coaching, whether I want to start offering. We started talking about, like, setting up a retreat down the line, you know, where I can talk, you know, have different sessions myself about talking about different aspects of divorce and and custody and all kinds of things. And bring in different practitioners. Have a Reiki person, have a, you know, a spa person, or, you know, who knows, just different modalities to incorporate into, like a retreat. Have somebody bringing in, like crystals and all kinds of, you know, other spiritual products, just like the the idea of just building like this is just so exciting to me. And then there, you know, there are other opportunities, like speaking engagements and things like that. And I just, I'm, I'm about to actually meet with Marc to talk about all these different opportunities that I learned about at pod fest, and the things that are realistic and the things that maybe I should put on the back burner for now, but, but this is just the beginning. I mean, my podcast is not even out three months yet, and I have, I think I have, like, 1630 downloads so far, sure, and this is just organic. I haven't even, I haven't even fully promoted myself yet, so sure, I'm inspired by the fact that I'm hitting the right people. I did a Facebook live for one of these groups I'm in, and the creator of that. Group told me that the most plays that anyone ever received in that group, in the history of the group, was in the high two hundreds, and I'm now at like 895 plays. I mean, I'm hitting the right people, is my point.

Stephen Duetzmann:

Yeah, let me give you some food for thought. You're definitely hitting the right people, and it's not a small audience, right? They tell you to niche down, and I think you've niched down very well, and you have a unique voice and a unique perspective. Marie gave you great advice about turning your podcast into a book, right? You know, the episodes are great outlines, and take the transcripts, turn those into outlines, and use those as a source, but then remixing it into a book is a very strong idea, and I think that is certainly something that I'm glad that you started, and sure that you know, finishing that will be of value. It feels to me like what you need to do is just start building a community, because things like retreats are possible when you have a strong community around you, so, you know, and so I would definitely, you know, lean in that direction, you know, you're working with these other communities, but I think eventually it's probably going to be valuable for you to start your own. There are a bunch of different platforms you can do that, and Facebook groups work just as well. I

Caryn Portnoy:

just started a Facebook group of my own, yeah, so I just started that

Stephen Duetzmann:

so finding people in there and slowly growing that through your through your podcast. But I also think that there is likely going to be value over time, and I recommend that folks start this early, just because it is something that only compounds in value. I would work on using a tool to build a mailing list. One way that you can market new products and new cross promotional things is through emails. I'm sure your producer will have some ideas on how to do this. The traditional way would be, obviously you're creating content now, through that, you can encourage people to sign up for the mailing list for updates and exclusive content. You can send them playlists from Spotify or something like that, right? Since music is so important, he'll come up with, I'm sure he'll have some ideas on that. You don't need to be a newsletter creator or something like that in order to do it, but send in periodic emails to that email list reminding them this is the content that you've created, something like that, to kind of nurture that relationship, so that they're used to getting messages from you. That'll be valuable too, because as the podcast grows, you'll have that email list as well that you can it's hard to promote a book on a podcast solely, but if you have your podcast and your email and your website, then you have more means at your disposal to get the word out. And it's just a natural way to open a podcast where, after you're opening during a segment where you might do promotions, you can say, join my mailing list for updates, and kind of slowly get that information. You can gather those email addresses even if you're not immediately planning to monetize it, right, or even if you really don't have any significant commitment to communicate.

Caryn Portnoy:

Well, my focus Go ahead. I'm sorry. My focus right now is to build my audience, and I do have the capability on my website to capture email addresses, so perfect. I think in my in the next section going forward, I'll start in my outro to invite people to sign up and and get that going

Stephen Duetzmann:

absolutely I think that'll just support everything else. It'll just compound over time. You will continue to get more downloads. You're doing all the right work. You're appearing in these groups. It's only a matter of time. So I think building a community and building an audience around you is the best way, because the reality is, people are going to want to consume your content, but once they do that, they're going to build a relationship with you. Prepare a social one, but you know, they're going to feel like they know you, they're going to feel that closeness, and as a result, they're going to, you know, they're going to only benefit, and vice versa. So I think that's the crazy thing.

Caryn Portnoy:

Here's the crazy thing. So in, in the in the website that hosts my, my website, you know, I the stats page where I can see how many downloads, I can see locations and which episodes are the most popular, and all that kind of stuff. So I'm looking at the locations just to see, you know, for lack of a better term for shits and giggles, to see where in the world, you know who's listening. And I'm I'm already starting to make traction in Europe and in Australia and in Asia, and I forget one other place, but it's like, I think I have two downloads in Asia so far, like the fact that I'm even on their. Radar at all is just hysterical to me, because who's listening, you know, there?

Stephen Duetzmann:

I mean, probably somebody that is going through a divorce, yeah, universe. It's a unfortunately universal experience. So, you know, you're speaking to lots of people, it doesn't surprise me that it's that you're speaking the universal language, also music, right? It's a universal language. So it's going to hit everybody.

Caryn Portnoy:

Awesome. I love it because, you know, not even three months out and and I'm already starting to wind up on people's feeds or whatever. It's just, it's awesome. I love it. I love this whole platform Absolutely. Well, I

Stephen Duetzmann:

love to hear it honestly. If it wasn't for this platform, I wouldn't have met you, and that would have been a disservice to me from the universe. So thank you very much for that. It was great crashing into you a couple of times at pod fest, those hallways are here. Oh, well, that's true. That's true. I will make sure to thank her when I talk to her later on today, those halls were small, and I liked it because it was a really cozy environment. I saw the same people over and over again, and it was awesome. So Karen, I want to thank you for being on my show. You know, I know that your podcast is a sensitive topic. It is one that is very close to you. I wanted to give as much value to you as I could, to give you an opportunity to share it with as many people as possible. So hopefully, even years from now, we'll be sending people over to go listen to your Spotify playlists. Love it. So thank you very much. And everybody listening. Thank you very much for listening to, uh, Karen's story, her podcast, the music of life, all the good news and everything will be linked in our show notes. So don't worry about too much. Don't crash your car or anything listening to this, and it'll be there when you get home, and I will be back next time for another side quest success story. So until next time, hope you have a great day. Take care. Bye now.

Caryn Portnoy:

So being on the other side of the mic was a great experience for me, and I really want to thank Steve and dudesman for having me. I hope that we can collaborate again sometime in the future. Please join me every Thursday for a new episode. You can reach my website@podpage.com slash the music of life. Feel free to leave your email address. You can also leave a voicemail and share any kinds of stories or experiences or anything that you'd like to talk about. I promise I will keep you anonymous, but I assure you that whatever experiences or stories you leave for me, you are not alone, and I would love to share that with other people who are also going through similar things. Thanks again for listening. I'll see you in the next episode. You.