Balancing Fear and Excitement in Pursuing Dreams

Hey friends! In this episode, I’m diving deep into something we all experience when we’re on the brink of something big—those moments when fear and excitement blur together. As I get closer to a dream I’ve had for over a decade finally coming true, I’m noticing just how intertwined those two emotions can be. And I’m not alone in that feeling, right?

I share some really personal reflections on how I’ve navigated fear—especially the kind that creeps in when life stretches you out of your comfort zone. From learning to sit with the unknown to fully owning the strength it took to rebuild my life, I’m getting honest about what it looks like to show up scared and do it anyway. This one’s for anyone who’s ever had a big dream and needed a little push to keep going. You’re going to feel seen and inspired—I promise.

Episode Highlights:

[0:22] - The blurry line between fear and excitement as a decade-long dream approaches
 [2:48] - Embracing fear without letting it take control
 [4:45] - The importance of stretching ourselves out of our comfort zones
 [6:42] - Crawling out of a dark chapter and learning self-reliance through healing
 [8:30] - Building strength through adversity and why “what doesn’t kill you” really does make you stronger
[9:58] - Creating a new rhythm for life: work-life balance, self-care, and purpose
[10:53] - Redefining success and working smart, not hard
[13:40] - Where to connect with me online and stay in the loop 

Links & Resources:

Be sure to follow, share, and leave a comment if this show resonates with you! Send me a message at podpage.com/themusicoflife to share your experiences, or to leave a comment. I'd love to feature it in a future episode.

Transcript

Caryn Portnoy: 0:02

Karen, hi everyone, and welcome to the music of Life. I'm your host. Karen Portnoy, before I get into this episode, please comment, ask questions, share some of your experiences, and don't forget to subscribe. I wanted to talk about dreams coming true in this episode. I know I've spoken in earlier episodes about things coming up in my business, and I'm so excited about it all. But you know, I'm noticing that there's a there's a fine line between fear and excitement, and I'm just taking a look at that now, because, you know, I don't even think that I've spoken about this dream that I've had for a decade, and I still can't talk about it yet, and I promise I will. I need, like, another month and a half or so. But while I'm working my butt off to prepare for this insane opportunity that I've literally been dreaming about for a decade, and I've really got my nose to the grind, and I'm really putting my all into this, and I know that I'll be ready and prepared and all of the things that I need to be doing for this. And when I think about, you know what it's going to look like at the end and how it's going to unfold. And not that I have any control over that, but, you know, the the energy that I want to be in, and, you know, all the preparation work that I'm doing now, I just feel like it's going to be fine. I'm going to be fine. I'm going to be everything that I expect to be, and more, I'm not worried about that part of it. It's, it's more about, you know, I go between fear and excitement, and the fear is not, I'm not afraid of the end result. I'm just like, when I step back and think of the enormity of what this is, that's where fear kind of creeps in, because it's like, holy crap. I never thought that this would be something that would be possible. And as time is getting closer, and you know, the reality is upon me, and you know, I'm in the home stretch right now, and that's where the excitement is building, but at the same time, it's like, holy shit, this is really happening, and in a fairly short amount of time, I would say that really and truly, it's taken eight months from start to finish, and that's a short amount of time to make a dream come true. I think, I mean, you know, something this big anyway. So, you know, I've kind of been watching the fear side of it, because I don't ever want fear to hold me back. And the, you know, the 14 months that I was living outside of my home and living somewhere else. I really spent a long time processing fear. And the truth is, you know, I keep saying kind of tongue in cheek, that this is my era of not saying no and trying new things and being adventurous and all of that. So, you know, this fear aspect is just, I'm sort of taking it with me, even though I'm not letting it rule me, which is progress. It's major. You know, I know in a previous episode when I talked about driving to Florida and finding a nude beach and getting myself into the ocean and just cleansing away the old me and welcoming in the new me and all of that. So that was like there was a lot of fear around that experience, and I spoke about that in detail, but I'm just not at the point anymore of letting fear overtake me where I don't show up for myself, so I'm choosing to stay more in excitement than in fear. But when I'm aware that the fear is kind of popping up again, I just kind of decide, okay, I'm scared, and I'm going to do the thing anyway, which is helpful. Nobody ever died from fear. So it's like, you know, all right, do the thing scared, but still do it. So it's pretty interesting when I think about, you know, how much fear can really hold people back and it, you know, it could be fear of anything. It could be fear of heights. It could be fear of being vulnerable. It could be fear of speaking your truth. It could be, I mean, it's, it's an endless supply of definitions of what fear could be about, and I'm just not willing to let it rule my life anymore, even in terms of my love life, I feel like, you know, there are there are situations, there are people, there are, you know, different people come into your life for a reason. In. And I feel like there are situations and opportunities and things that are really meant for us to stretch, just stretch our thinking, stretch our perspective, stretch our limitations and what we think we should be or have, or, you know, attract in, or whatever that is. It's just redefining what will be best for our higher self. And so I'm all about stretching. I you know, it's not comfortable by any stretch. It's not fun. Sometimes it can be painful. But you know, our souls are meant to grow and evolve and change. So you know we have to, kind of like push ourselves to get outside of our comfort zone and stretch, and part of that is getting over the fear, you know what, if my next relationship is way outside my comfort zone, does that mean that I shrink and say, Nope, thanks, sorry and move on, or does that mean I have to push myself and try something new on things like that. So I think it's very important to be aware in our lives about the things that make us fearful, that make us retreat, that make us kind of like, get smaller instead of bigger, and there's nobody there that's gonna push you. There's nobody there that's going to, like, make you forge ahead and and, you know, be bold and be brave. That has to come from us. And I've learned how to do that, and I have to say quite well. This last, I guess, year and a half has been all about that for myself. And I'm very proud of myself for being able to do that. Because when you spend a three year period in hell where you're just stepped on in every possible way, and disrespected and devalued and made insignificant and all the horrible things that I went through during my divorce for three years while we were living together, nobody, nobody was there to pull me out. I seriously crawled out of freaking hell by myself. That's it, by myself. Ultimately, God helped lead the way, and he was with me. But, you know, as far as people and support, nothing I had my small circle of my tried and true friends, and that was it. But you know, it was I had to push myself. Ultimately, I couldn't rely on anybody else. In fact, somebody asked me last night as I was I was talking to somebody about, you know, my journey, my healing, and all of that and and he was asking me, like, and you did this 100% yourself. And I said, Yeah, because the truth of the matter is, I survived and handled and crawled my way out where most people would never have been able to do that. I always say I'm the strongest person I know, but even I was like questioning, you know, am I actually going to get through this. But, you know, 10 regular people would not have been able to get themselves out of what I got myself out of. And that's, I don't say that to, you know, pat myself on the back. It's just the reality, it took an enormous amount of strength and courage and bravery to go up against what I was up against. I mean, was there fear during that time? 1,000% I was up against a monster, an evil bully, monster who was relentlessly trying to destroy me. So you tell me how many people would survive something like that? You know, one of these crazy quotes I used to say growing up, you know, as a as a young adult and beyond, was, you know, that which doesn't kill you makes you stronger. That's true, totally true. So now that I survived and thrived, now it's all about dreams coming true. Now it's all about, you know, figuring out that balance of life. I've, I've really mastered working smart, not hard. So, you know, in these last 14 to 18 months, or something like that, it's been, you know, I've really found the balance between work and rest and play and friends and family and being alone. I never thought of myself in isolation. You know, once I moved out of the house, it was always about being in solitude, which just meant that that was the time that I took for myself to heal intensely. Mm. So, you know, I've made a new schedule for myself. I figured out what time to wake up now, what time to walk my dog, what time to do errands and be home and do taking care of things at home, and, you know, allocating time to meet friends for lunch or do something, you know, in the middle of the day, like that. And then I allocated a bunch of hours towards work. For me, personally, I work more effectively later in the day because that's when I have the most energy. I've never been a morning person. So this is how I've structured my day. And I've I've left plenty of time to, you know, work out or or walk or play tennis or whatever it is that I do so I can balance out my day. And what's interesting is a family member called me, I think it was two days ago, and she said, Oh, what are you doing now? And I said, Oh, I just woke up from an afternoon siesta. And she was like, Oh, how nice. But like, don't get me wrong, it's not like I sit around and do nothing. It's not like I'm just doing things for myself and, you know, play time and rest time and stuff like that. I mean, I've been working my butt off to build my dream and to build my career, and, you know, I've just balanced it. And I'm, I'm so happy to say that I'm not stressed out over work. When you do what you love, you don't work a day in your life. And I'm here to say it's 100% true. So, you know, yeah, I take afternoon siesta. Sometimes I take naps in the middle of the day. Sometimes I get a massage or get my nails done or whatever. And so what, as long as I'm moving myself forward in my career, and I'm doing what I know I need to be doing for myself to move ahead, I have no problem with it. And if you know, I know the majority of people are like working all hours of the day and sometimes night, and, you know, very stressful jobs and and you know, we've been sold that, that narrative that that you have to work hard, and the more hours you work, then the more successful you become. And I did that for most of my career, and it drove me crazy, and it was just not anything that ever made me happy or satisfied or fulfilled. So, you know, I am very clear that I am not meant to work for anyone anymore, and I love that I get to build the life and the career and the happiness that that I feel entitled to everybody does. It's our birthright. So anyway, like I said, I need, like, another month and a half before I can talk about, you know, what this journey is, and how it came to be, and what will be next after that, and you know, it's going to be very exciting to talk about, and I can't wait to share that with you guys. But in the meantime, I just kind of wanted to address the whole thing about fear versus excitement. And you know, I'm beyond excited to know what's coming, and it's just freaking awesome. So anyway, I will keep you guys posted as things progress. I'm going to wrap it up right now. So thank you for listening. I'll catch you next week. Please join me every Thursday for a new episode. You can reach my website at pod page.com/the, music of life. You can also reach me on Instagram, which is the underscore music, underscore of underscore life, underscore five, five, and I'm posting snippets of episodes in in my reels on Instagram. I would love for you to comment, like, share. You can also reach my Facebook group at the music of life. I'd love to have you there. Please leave a comment or a voicemail or review on my website, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks again for listening. I'll see you next week. You.