Turning Negativity into Positivity

Hey friends, it’s Caryn, and in this week’s episode, I’m diving into a very raw, very real experience I had recently — one of those days where everything just hits the fan emotionally. If you’ve ever had to deal with a toxic relationship or ongoing tension with an ex, this one’s for you. I talk about the power of compartmentalization, choosing healing over reacting, and how to take negative energy and turn it into something meaningful and uplifting.

I’m sharing two moments that truly shifted my energy — both involved giving love and encouragement to complete strangers who needed a little light. These moments reminded me of what I’m here to do, and I hope they inspire you to recognize your own power to rise above and be a force of good. Tune in for a dose of vulnerability, reflection, and a whole lot of heart.

Episode Highlights:

[0:21] - A rough day, emotional triggers, and navigating harassment from my ex
 [1:40] - Practicing compartmentalization during toxic divorce aftermath
 [2:54] - Replacing negative energy with positive action
 [3:40] - Responding to a sincere question in a divorce group about dating and distance
 [5:50] - The unexpected joy of being seen and appreciated for spreading encouragement
 [6:07] - Uplifting a TikTok creator bravely sharing her story of abuse
 [7:30] - A reminder of why sharing our truth and lifting others matters so much
 [8:45] - Reflecting on how these acts of kindness transformed my day
 [9:25] - Asking for your feedback and ideas for future episodes
 [9:55] - Where to find me: TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, and my website

Links & Resources:

TikTok: @iamcarynportnoy

Instagram: @the_music_of_life_55

Be sure to follow, share, and leave a comment if this show resonates with you! Send me a message at podpage.com/themusicoflife to share your experiences, or to leave a comment. I'd love to feature it in a future episode.

Transcript

Caryn Portnoy: 0:02

Hi everyone, and welcome to the music of Life. I'm your host. Karen Portnoy, before I get into this episode, please comment, ask questions, share some of your experiences, and don't forget to subscribe. Hi guys. I just wanted to come on and share something that I had a day today. You know, the kind that, like, really pisses you off. And you know, my ex husband can help himself, this weekend has been harassing me and bullying me and threatening me and doing all that stuff. And you know, I try really hard to practice what I preach, because really and truly, yes, of course, his texts trigger me, but the the difference now is that a I don't respond when he treats me like that. I don't react. I don't have these big emotions that I used to have. You know, I did a Tiktok recently about compartmentalization and how important it is that when you're going through a toxic divorce, or, in my case, you know, we're officially divorced for almost a year, and yet this is still ongoing. So, you know, I was talking about how you take your emotions and in your mind, you put it in a proverbial box, and you put the box on a proverbial shelf, and you just kind of leave it there and separate your emotions from the rest of your world. It kind of helps you not be so reactive and triggered and all of that. And then when you're in a safe space for yourself alone, peaceful, you know, you you have a good environment in order to take the box off the shelf and dip into your emotions, that's the appropriate time to do it and feel your feelings, and feel whatever emotions come up and and then move on. But I, my point is, is that, you know, I put the stuff in the box, in the box, on the shelf, but when I was really ready to take the box down, I realized that I didn't even need to. So that's major progress, too. But the point is, is that one of the things that I I wasn't even aware that I was doing this until I looked back and kind of saw what had happened was that, yes, I got triggered. Yes, I rose above it. Yes, I compartmentalized it. And then the best part, and this is what I think is so healing, is when you can take a negative situation like that that could really set you up to ruin the rest of your night, or the rest of your day or the rest of your weekend. I did not allow that to happen, because I was able to take a negative situation and replace it with a positive one. So I look to see where I could make myself feel good and feel like you know the love that's in my heart that that you know emanates from myself, like I I felt that I needed to do something to help lift somebody else. And so there were two examples I wanted to share about that, because it really did turn this whole situation around, where I felt really good instead of feeling really crappy. So I wanted to share with you. So in one of these divorce groups that I'm in, there was a woman I'm going to read you her post she wrote I asked with true sincerity, I fairly recently joined a dating app. What's the point of men reaching out to me from all over the USA? How can we date? I live in New Jersey. I will not go to San Diego, to Kansas City, Atlanta, even upstate New York for a date. Nor will I invest the effort for such an arrangement. Sure you do not know where your Mr. Or Mrs. Wright is, but seriously, if they live more than 50 miles away from me, what's the point? Please fill me in. I'm not being sarcastic whatsoever. I just want a date, and most men who I would consider live states away. Nice comments only. I'm not looking for further challenges. And she wrote, she signed it feeling hopeful. So when I read a post like that, I want to say something, because I get that she's genuinely asking. She's not just trying to, like bait somebody to get into an argument. So I wrote in response to her, if quote, unquote, your person is meant for you, no distance, time, age, religion, culture, marital status, etc, will keep you apart. Circumstances may have to get worked out so you can be in alignment, but that's all on divine timing. What's meant for you will never pass you by. Trust that the universe brings various people across your path. For you to learn how to use your discernment and intuition, so you will recognize your person from wherever they are. Pay attention and just be open what's meant for you will find you. So when I write these comments like that, I really don't think about it. I just start typing and it just it comes through me, not from me, and that's when I know that God is working through me, because clearly I was supposed to write a message for this particular person to uplift her, to make her feel better, and all that stuff. And you know, while I don't do this for validation, I'm not doing it so that somebody responds and pats me on the head and says, Good job. But sometimes I get it anyway, and it's nice, and especially when I was feeling a little down. You know, this helped to raise me back up. So she responded, what a genius response. Thank you, girl. X, O, x O, X, O, x O, you. I So I mean, that was nice, and it definitely made me feel seen and, you know, appreciated, and that's why I make these comments. So here's another one. I saw somebody on Tiktok. She was getting ready to talk about her childhood abuse, and I got the feeling it was from family members, and she was terrified to talk about it. And she was very she was having a visceral response to, you know, doing this Tiktok. So I wrote to her, you are amazing. We have one life to live, and you are so strong and brave to speak your truth. There are millions of people that need to hear your story, people who might be on the verge of suicide and won't go through with it to hear your story. Be scared and do it anyway. You owe it to your inner child. You got this sending hugs and love to you. And she responded, I'm speechless. Thank you so much for your kind words and support. I mean, this is what it's about, you know? So then I responded again, we are all out here trying to make a difference for other people, trying to lift humanity. Otherwise, why be on here? You have a message inside that needs to be heard. I applaud your vulnerability and authenticity so much. Be brave. Be strong. Be the force that you are. And you know, I walk away from something like this feeling so good and feeling like my purpose is, you know, to help others feel better and to give some some sort of wisdom or experience or positive, you know, encouragement, anything like that. So it's, it's a nice thing to pay it forward and to hear people appreciate it and respond well to it, and, you know, overall, it kind of completely over shadowed, you know, the negative experience I had with my ex husband. So I'm proud of this. I'm proud of all the healing work that I've done, that I could, I could honestly say, you know, like this was so much more meaningful to me than dwelling on some asshole text that I got. So anyway, I think that's about it. I just wanted to share that, and I'm gonna sign off for now, but I just wanted to thank you for listening. I will definitely catch you next week. And I also wanted to ask you guys a favor. If you could leave some sort of feedback on my website, I would really appreciate it. What kinds of things do you want me to talk about more? What things do you want me to talk about less? Any kind of subjects that come to mind that you know, questions you have, or anything like that. I would love to hear from you and just kind of engage with you more. So let me know you can also find me on Tiktok. I'm at I am Karen Portnoy, and that's all one word, C, A, R, Y, N, P, O, R, T, N, O, y, and I think that's about it. So thank you so much, and I'll catch you next week. You please join me every Thursday for a new episode. You can reach my website at pod page.com/the, music of life. You can also reach me on Instagram, which is the underscore music, underscore of underscore life, underscore five, five. And I'm posting snippets of episodes in in my reels on Instagram. I would love for you to comment, like, share. You can also reach my Facebook group at the music of life. I'd like. To have you there. Please leave a comment or a voicemail or review on my website. I'd really appreciate it. Thanks again for listening. I'll see you next week. You.